14. Forgiveness

Why Do I Need to Ask for Forgiveness?

Forgive and forget – how many times have you heard these phrases? Most people would say forgive those who have hurt you and have done you wrong and just let go of the past. It is easy to say but much harder to do.

Forgiving is not an easy task. Letting go of the things that have caused you pain or suffering is not at all easy. Other people can forgive and forget easily but most have a hard time.

But no matter how hard it is, it is important to forgive. Forgiving is healthy and holding grudges will only leave you suffering more. You are on the losing side if you do not forgive. It may do you more harm than good.

Forgiving is one issue, asking for forgiveness is another different aspect of forgiveness.

A person who is sincerely ready to ask for forgiveness has already let go of any negative pride that may have dwelled in his heart for a period of time. Sincerely asking for forgiveness no matter whose fault it is, is very courageous and admirable. Just because it is not your fault does not necessarily mean you should not ask for forgiveness. The other person may not be ready to ask for forgiveness or to forgive so it your duty to take the initiative and be the one to ask for forgives.

So why is it important to ask for forgiveness?

Ask for forgiveness to help you physically.  Holding a grudge or anger has been proven to be unhealthy. It may cause health problems like cancer, hypertension and other cardiovascular diseases.

Ask for forgiveness with an eye toward an emotionally healthy you. Not only is forgiving good for your physical well-being, it is also helpful in keeping you sane and away from depression. Anger causes depression, anxiety and other negative emotional thoughts and feelings.

Ask for forgiveness for peace of mind. Being angry at somebody else does not give you a peace of mind and will always give you a feeling of uneasiness. Asking for forgiveness to those persons you have hurt or have hurt you will give you a sense of liberation and relief.

Ask for forgiveness for a better you. The major benefactor of asking for forgiveness is not the person you have asked forgiveness of  but it is you. You ask for forgiveness not just because of the other person but because you want to free yourself from anger, guilt and other negative feelings. You are not the one defeated here. You are actually making yourself a winner once you have asked for forgiveness.

Ask for forgiveness to renew a relationship. Finding people to be friends or partners with in this world is a tough job. It may be difficult to find new people like the ones you have been angry with. Nurturing a relationship is tough and once that relationship is ruined with misunderstandings or quarrels, it is a big waste. Asking for forgiveness can rebuild those broken relationships.

Ask for forgiveness to have a happier life ahead. Not forgetting the bad things that have happened in the past and keeping anger in your heart against those persons that you have acted negatively on or have hurt you, will not make you a completely happy person. In order to go on fully with life and face new challenges and experiences ahead, a person must let go of past anger. One can never be fully happy and satisfied if something keeps on bothering them like anger and guilt.

Now that you are convinced that asking for forgiveness is not only beneficial to the other person but for you as well, maybe you are asking, okay how do you do it?

Think about what really happened and reflect on the things that have caused you and the other person pain. Now organize your thoughts and think of all the things you want to say to that person and how sorry you are and how you felt about the situation.

Swallow your pride and have the guts to sincerely ask for forgiveness from that person. After that give that person time to reflect and think about what just happened. That person may or may not be ready to forgive you but what’s important is you already did your part and that is the first step in rebuilding your relationship with each other.

Always remember that forgiving and asking for forgiveness are two of the most important things that we should practice as this will lead to a happier and more peaceful life.